While this butt abuse story was hanging around in development hell for literal years until now, it was only recently that I found my way past the writer's block holding it back, and I'm happy with how it turned out. For the uninitiated, Reika Kirishima is the eponymous protagonist of Time Gal, a very obscure full-motion-video action game published by Taito in 1985. In the same vein as Dragon's Lair, this game largely consists of a series of animations with gameplay being done via quick-time events and choice trees, and the plot, or what little there is of it anyway, is that a time-traveling criminal named Luda is going through different time periods in order to make himself leader of the world in his own time, forcing Reika to go and stop him. Notice also the "Everyone is 18+" disclaimer at the start of the story - it was only after I began work on it that I found out that Reika is officially stated to be sixteen, but you wouldn't guess it due to her being clad in a bikini throughout the entire game (yes, even in the ice age!) and looking much more like a vintage Samus Aran a la Rumiko Takahashi. Hell, Reika predates Samus as a straight video-game heroine by about a year, and for all her fanservice, her very existence during the male-hero-dominated eighties was a breakthrough in and of itself! All the same, I decided to state early on that she'd grown up a tad to avoid any of the obvious concerns, but if anyone still has a problem with my choice of victim and thus wants me to take this story down regardless, I won't contest it. I would've had her face off against Samus for a nice heroine-versus-heroine matchup, but I don't know as much about Metroid as I do about The Legend of Zelda series, and since I wanted to include male butt abuse as well, I figured Link would be a more thematically appropriate choice to pit against her. Maybe someday I'll write a sequel where she and Samus cross paths, who knows?
On the topic of TLoZ, this story is quite heavily inspired by the works of the up-and-coming hot-buns artist and writer, @ZeldasButtInTrouble - I really liked their comics about the Breath of the Wild version of Zelda being an unfortunate recipient of painful bum-related slapstick and wanted to homage them in my own way. Being the male hot-buns enjoyer that I am, of course, I hope they don't mind me putting Link in the literal hot seat instead, although really, it's Reika who's the major focal character here, for good or for ill. Regardless, a big thanks to this particular artist for giving me the drive to work on this story, and I highly recommend checking out their work if you want some nice hot-buns action with at least one lovely lady! Who knows if they'll take a shot at more of them soon - I think Peach was shown in at least one of their pics, so maybe she'll turn up more often in their gallery in the future...
While this story is technically part of my "audition matches" series, unlike the previous two installments, I also felt it appropriate for there to be absolutely no antagonism between anyone in this story at all, i.e. everything going wrong instead being entirely due to innocent mistakes on the part of the characters concerned. A mean-spirited character getting comeuppance would be fun to write, but Reika doesn't seem like the kind to be rude to everyone before the inevitable happens, at least from what I've seen of either the Time Gal game itself or of her appearance in the 2006 bullet hell game, Castle of Shikigami III, which was the source of three of the special moves in the moveset I gave her (and while obviously not shown in the story itself, my idea for her skins is that four of them would be based on her original Time Gal look shown at the start of this story, albeit with a few alterations for modesty's sake like what they did with Pyra and Mythra, and the other four would be taken from her Castle of Shikigami III appearance, similar to Wario's or Ike's skin sets). The character arc she goes through here, (re)building her confidence via a friendly spar with a living legend among gaming heroes, is meant to parallel how overshadowed her original game and others like it have been compared to the greats in gaming history, because really, the overall full-motion-video genre once popularized by Dragon's Lair has gotten slept on a lot in recent decades, at least from my standpoint. I don't know if Time Gal will ever make it into Smash Bros. for real, but if the next installment of this series somehow ends up including her, or even mentioning her at all, I'd take that as a win, in its own small way!
I have the writing for the fourth entry in this series of "audition matches" already in the works, and will hopefully be able to get that one done by the early to mid-February at the latest, though even that sadly isn't guaranteed given how my life is. Still, for those of you who wanted this story to include Zelda herself getting it in the end, don't worry - she's the main
Time Gal (c) Taito
Castle of Shikigami (shown by implication) (c) Alfa System
The Legend of Zelda, Super Smash Bros. (c) Nintendo
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My, How Time (Gal) Flies!
by Skaea Contains: */F, M/F, and */M hotbuns and slapstick. (Somewhat) NSFW.
Word Count: 9,166
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In the halls of the Smash Mansion, in a place beyond time and a world beyond worlds, a green-haired young woman was running for her life.
She wasn’t sure how she’d ended up in this strange world, let alone how she could ever get back to her own time and place. It was quite possible that she never could go back. But as it was, she had faced off against many different foes across the time stream, and despite putting on a brave face for the mission to stop a notorious criminal from disrupting said time stream, she’d escaped far too many life-and-death scenarios to count because of it. Only now, now that she’d come across all the different people and villains in the mansion that could, theoretically, finish her off for good, had the once-cheerful girl finally succumbed to a cumulative millennium’s worth of “the willies”.
It had been years since she’d gone on that fateful mission, at the time a tender young age of sixteen, and in the interim she’d gone past the legal drinking age and turned into quite the stunner. Now in her early twenties, her long, dark green hair reached down to her waist, fringes of which also draped down over her forehead and framed the sides of her face, though her large indigo eyes remained uncovered. She wore elbow-length gloves and knee-high boots, both white with red hems, but her body was largely covered in nothing but what could only be described as a two-piece space bikini — her large, pert breasts were sheathed in a purple top with a red rim that ran around the back of her neck, with two purple straps around her upper arms to match, while her nethers were covered by red spandex panties, the back of which sank a little in between the sizable, fleshy globes behind her waist, each silky-soft and flawless buttock the size of her head and complementing an equally thick thigh. A brown belt with a holster on her left side rounded out the whole outfit, with a bronze buckle on the other side.
Stopping to catch her breath, the girl instinctively made for the side of the corridor she was in, her back pressed against the wall, her ears trained for any sounds that could betray approaching danger. She’d been caught up in this game of cat-and-mouse — with far too many cats to count — ever since she’d gotten here who knew how long ago, every day a struggle not to be seen, heard, or otherwise noticed. All that had changed just this morning, however, when while in her flight set off by yet another shadow on the wall, she hadn’t looked where she was going and quite literally crashed into someone. They’d barely gotten the chance to react to the encounter when she’d let out a shriek of terror and bolted. Which was how she’d ended up trying to find a way to escape from the figure now chasing after her; who or what they were, she didn’t know or care, for all that mattered was her escape.
The sound of footsteps from where she’d come made her jump a bit in place, and she was prepared to make for the hallway intersection ahead of her when she saw a shadow crossing the wall. She was trapped!
No way through there — I have to hide! There’s gotta be somewhere I can dive into, she thought desperately. And then she saw it — a door a few feet away from her. Before whomever was headed her way could make themselves known, she’d dived into it and slammed it shut.
It was completely dark in the little chamber. The girl groped around, feeling for something she could use for some light. Then she froze, watching as a shadow broke the illuminated space beneath the door.
The unseen owner of the shadow knocked on the door, and spoke in the voice of a young man. “Hello? Is anyone in there?”
The girl remained completely silent. One wrong move, and she could give herself away!
“I heard the door close, so I know someone’s inside,” the voice continued. “It’s alright. You can come out, I’m not going to hurt you.”
That did not reassure the girl as much as the man might have hoped.
“S-stay back!” she whimpered. “I’m coming out, and I don’t want to see anyone beyond that door!”
The man paused, making a confused sound. “But you’re not in danger—”
Stumbling backward, she groped around blindly for something she could use to attack once she emerged, knowing she was cornered. So preoccupied was she in her blind panic that she didn’t notice something with dozens of sharp points directly behind her waist until she backed right into it.
“OOWWW!”
“Okay, I stand corrected.”
“Oohhhh! What did you think?! I’m always in danger!!”
“You aren’t. Not now, anyway. Could you just come out and talk to me? Please?”
Something fell to the floor with a clatter, and with one hand still rubbing the spot where the pointy thing had jabbed her butt, she stooped and grabbed it. It was a narrow thing shaped somewhat like a sword handle, but without the blade. With the hilt pointed away from her, she thrust it forward, ready to enact defensive violence on whomever was behind the door.
There was a WHOOSH as five glowing orange spheres erupted in a row from the hilt of the handle. With a scream of panic, she waved the Fire Bar around blindly, trying to put it out before it hurt someone. Then she heard a series of sizzling and beeping noises all around her, and only too late did she notice what the light of the flaming weapon illuminated: the entire room was filled with weapons, more than a few of which were explosive. Bombs with legs, grenades, barrels and crates with TNT labels, and even a few more advanced explosives from the far future were surrounding her on all sides… and she’d just triggered every one of them at once.
The man had apparently realized what was about to happen, for he’d backed away from the weapons storeroom door with the “DANGER: EXPLOSIVES” warning label on it. He dove for the floor just in the nick of time.
KABOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!
“UWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!’
Dozens of dangerous-looking items were hurled out of the flaming hole in the wall where the door had been moments ago, one of which was the thing that had poked the girl earlier: a soccer-ball-sized blue sphere with two white dots like eyes that was covered in countless long spines like a sea urchin. It rolled onto the floor and sat there in the same instant as the girl, soot blanketing her from head to toe, sailed out of the hole with a scream of pain and fear, a fiery red glow emanating from her sumptuous, smoking seat. She looked down only a second too late to see that she was about to land right on top of the blue urchin-creature, which hunkered down and extended its spines in anticipation of the impact.
WHMP-SHINNK!
The girl sat there for a moment, and then reacted accordingly. “YEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!” she screamed, leaping high into the air and clutching at her damaged cheeks, several long spines now embedded in each of them. In the process, the urchin, its spines dislodged, was jostled from its position, rolling onto the floor to settle once again where she was descending.
“OH NOOOOOOO!”
WHMP-SHINNK!
“OOOWWWWWIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!” The girl catapulted herself skyward once more, almost hitting her head against the high vaulted ceiling of the hallway, a half-dozen more spines impaling her buttocks. Once more, the urchin was jolted out of its resting spot, and once more it came to a halt right below her. This would be far from the last time it’d happen in succession, either…
WHMP-SHINNK!
“EEYYYIIIAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”
WHMP-SHINNK!
“OWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWWW!”
WHMP-SHINNK!
“AAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
WHMP-SHINNK!
“WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?”
WHMP-SHINNK!
“YEEEOOOOWOWOWOWOWWWW! HEEEEELLLP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
The young man who had been standing just outside the weapons storeroom before it lit up, whose blond hair and pointed ears were unmistakable, could only gawk at the bizarre scene. It wasn’t until a full minute of spiking, springing, and screaming had passed before he realized that he could, in fact, do something about it.
“Hang on! I’ve got this—” he cried, taking out a bow from behind his back and nocking an arrow. The girl had just reached the apex of yet another pain-induced leap, her rear end now a veritable pincushion for several dozen blue needles, when she saw him launch the bolt, hitting the urchin dead-center just before it could roll to a stop again and sending it tumbling away. It collided with the edge of a Back Shield resting upside-down on the floor, sending it tumbling after it, before hitting the corner and thumping to the floor, the shield landing on top of it and concealing it from view.
Unfortunately, that left her with absolutely nothing to cushion the final landing, except of course for the hard tile-covered floor itself. All she could do was cry out in terror as gravity pulled her back down, down, down…
WHMP-SHINNK!
The spines had been driven even deeper into her lower cheeks, almost to the hilt. Her eyes widened and teared up, her lips working, her pretty face reddening and screwing up in pain.
“YIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHH!!!”
The boy couldn’t help but wince at the consequence of his actions, but there had been no other choice. Instinct took over as he rushed in to help the stranger, knowing that a visit to the mansion’s infirmary was in order.
Seeing a shadow pass over her, the girl, having rolled onto her side with both hands cradling her battered booty, curled up with a terrified whimper. She was in no condition to run anymore, and her pursuer was now bearing down upon her. This was it…
Please, she thought as the boy loomed over her, at least let it be quick…
A hand pressed itself lightly upon her shoulder, shaking her gently. “Are you alright? That looks… well, I think it speaks for itself, if you ask me.”
She looked up, blinking tears from her eyes, to see the man in the blue tunic looking at her with an expression of clear concern. Her mind all but stopped working for about a second. Everyone she’d met before had tried to kill her, and she’d been sure that this encounter would be no different. What gave?
“…no,” she wheezed finally. “Owowowow, it hurrrrts!”
The young man chuckled ruefully. “Oof, I can relate. That blasted Unira has claimed far too many innocent behinds to count, including mine! Hang on, let me get you to Dr. Mario and then we can talk.”
The girl debated as to whether to trust this suspiciously kind outsider for a few seconds, and then finally nodded. She really had no choice. “Okay,” she said with a slight sob. “I’ll come with you. If only so I can get all these spines out.”
With some effort, the man helped her up, letting an arm drape around his shoulder, before they headed off, the discarded weapons and especially the Unira completely forgotten. She noticed that he was about the same age as her, and that he was wearing a light blue tunic and tan leather trousers with dark brown boots, with various leather straps around his torso. His piercing blue eyes were actually quite beautiful, and there was a small blue earring hanging from his left earlobe.
“So, do you have a name?” he asked as they continued on their way. “Everyone has one, obviously. Mine’s Link.”
She paused in thought, wondering whether she should divulge her identity, but finally decided it was just barely safe enough for her to do so. “Reika,” she said finally. “Reika Kirishima.”
He thought about it for a moment. “I like that name, actually.”
She winced a little, both from the awkwardness and the agony of the Unira spines still stuck in her ass. “Well, it’s the name I have. But everyone from my home called me Time Gal.”
Link gave her a look of piqued curiosity. “Come again?”
“Time Gal,” she repeated. “I was a time officer from the distant future. Millennia from, well, whenever I am now. I got the nickname because I went back to the past to stop an infamous criminal. I’d tell you more, but I bet we’d be here until the time period I was originally from!” she added with a laugh.
“It’s alright. I’d like to hear it sometime.” He smiled at her again. “Though before you ask the obvious follow-up question, I’m already taken. Princess Zelda is the one I love the most, and always will be. A pity she couldn’t stay with me here, but the land of Hyrule needs someone to protect it.”
Reika looked a little disappointed, but nodded in understanding. “I’m glad you have her. I don’t think I have anyone close to me…”
Link glanced at her just in time to see that her expression had turned somewhat glazed and vacant, as though in a listless depression. He realized at that point that perhaps bringing up the other company he currently enjoyed might not have been in good taste after all. Poor Reika must’ve been unimaginably lonely here in the manor if nobody had acknowledged her existence until now.
“Wait a minute,” he said after a moment. “How long have you been here?”
Reika blinked the tears of anguish (both emotional and physical) from her eyes as she thought it over. “I honestly can’t tell anymore. All that time travel has made me lose track of what year it is, but I know I’ve been in this mansion for around half a decade now. It certainly feels almost twice as long as that now, though — probably a side-effect of all that chrono-jumping. Or maybe I’m just going even crazier than I usually am…”
The Hylian thought about this for a few moments as they rounded a corner. “So, the ‘existing beyond time’ thing… Is that why nobody in this mansion ever discovered you?”
She sniffled a bit. “That and, well, I’ve had to keep myself hidden for years now. I couldn’t take any chances when I saw who else was here.”
Link swallowed hard. Ganondorf, Wolf, and now Ridley and K. Rool as of the latest tournament… Had it been them she’d found instead of him, she’d have surely been murdered in a heartbeat.
“Don’t worry,” he said finally. “It was lucky that the first fighter in the Smash Bros. Ultimate tournament you encountered properly was me and not someone less, well, caring. And luckily for you, your second benign encounter is coming up shortly.”
She looked up, seeing the double doors leading into the medical ward. Still propping her up, Link knocked on the door and called, “Hey, Doc? I’ve got someone here who could use a little help!”
The doorway opened, and a very tired-looking doctor with a large nose, brown hair, and a thick mustache greeted them with an irritated expression, several floating star-shaped creatures with clipboards and various medical instruments milling about behind him. “Oh, Mamma mia, who is it-a this ti—?!”
He blinked in shock, before pointing at the girl. “W-who is-a this?! I haven’t-a seen her around-a here before…”
“Yes, I first met her only ten minutes ago myself. Her name is Reika Kirishima, otherwise known as ‘Time Gal’. And she’s… well…” He turned her a little so her pincushioned behind could be seen. “There was an accident in the weapons storeroom. I’m surprised she wasn’t, well… worse off, all things considered.”
“I’m surprised I’m still alive,” Reika added miserably.
Dr. Mario glared at them both, but said nothing. He beckoned the two into the medical wing, closing the door behind them.
“ARE-A YOU INSANE?!” he shouted as soon as they were in isolation, startling all the Lumas in the same room. “Cazzo madre di Dio, Link! Dio santo! Have you lost your cazzo mind?! Don’t-a you know what happened the last-a time someone invited-a random stranger into the mansion?!”
Link suppressed a shudder with difficulty. Virtually everyone in the tournament had to be brought in to forcibly escort that spiky-haired muscular weirdo in the orange gi — what was his name? Goké? — from the premises, and the Hands were all but certain that they’d never be able to find another insurance company willing to associate with them by the time the carnage had ended.
“I know,” he said finally. “I’m sorry. But she needed help. What else could I do?”
Reika looked on the verge of tears again. “C-can we fuss over that later?” she asked, stifling a sob as she rubbed the closest spot to her punctured derriere she could manage. “I’ll never be able to sit down by this point!”
“I’ll explain what little I know while you treat her,” Link added. “But please, hear me out on this. Hopefully you’ll understand.”
Dr. Mario scowled once more. “I’ll make-a no such-a promises.”
**********
Poink!
“EEYYIIIOOWWWCH! Ohhhh, it stiiings!” Reika whined as the last of the spines was painfully removed. She was lying face-down on a gurney, struggling to stay put as the tweezers, rubbing alcohol, and health-restoring items were put to extensive use on her already-tortured backside. It seemed as though she had a new personal definition of pain, but it had to be endured for her own sake.
“I still don’t-a believe it,” said Dr. Mario, putting the long blue needle with all the rest in a small plastic container held by one of several assisting Lumas. “All this-a time, we had this-a girl practically hiding in-a the mansion’s walls, and nobody seemed-a to have-a noticed?”
“Until now,” Link replied. He and Reika had taken turns explaining the whole story throughout the procedure, the Hylian filling in whenever Reika was too overwhelmed by the agony of the de-spining to speak clearly. “To be fair, though, Reika was going out of her way to stay hidden, and she’d gotten fairly good at it over the years. But why didn’t she just talk to people upon her arrival like the rest of the newcomers and auditionees? I mean, even Waluigi made his presence known for quite a bit before becoming an Assist Trophy…”
Dr. Mario scoffed a bit as he removed his gloves, motioning for the Luma to take the wastebin away. “That-a squatter’s got another thing-a comin’ if he thinks-a he can pass the auditions. But-a yes, it’s odd that Miss-a Reika here would choose not-a to be seen.”
“If I may interject,” Reika replied, wiggling her still-stinging fanny a little, “I don’t think I can go back to where I originally came from. That world probably doesn’t even exist anymore — I remember overhearing the term ‘Laserdisc’ being used to describe my home game once…”
“Obsolete-a the old tech-a may be, but Mr. Game And Watch is still-a in the tourney, huh?” Dr. Mario shrugged as he gently polished the skin of the girl’s left buttock with a sanitary wipe. “From-a the start, there was-a literally no reason for you not-a to reach out.”
“From what I can tell,” replied Link, “the problem isn’t so much whether or not she belongs here — which is probably a moot point, given how diverse the tournament’s participants are — but rather how she herself feels. From what I could tell, she used to be a much more cheerful and adventurous girl, but something must’ve happened that left her afraid to talk to anyone at all.”
“And that would-a be…?”
“Isn’t it obvious?!” Reika sobbed, wondering if she should sit up lest she hurt her butt again by accident. “Everything and everyone I encountered during my travels as a time cop wanted me dead! I’m sure there’s a million ways to die here as well, and I don’t want to take any chances anymore! Do you have any idea of the effect all those near-death experiences I’ve had to endure has had on me?!”
SMACK!
Her eyes widened in shock and renewed agony before she screamed again, clutching her butt — handprint and all — and kicking her booted feet. “YYYEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW! OH GOD, MY AAAAASSSSSSSS!!”
The culprit of the spank administered upon her still-tender backside merely scowled and adjusted his head mirror. “Mamma mia, get-a grip already!” Dr. Mario shook his head with a scowl. “Say what you will about your past, but it’s-a not an excuse to avoid-a everybody who wants-a to help you! And believe-a me, there’s-a plenty of other folks in this-a mansion aside from us who are more than capable of doing that. Your diagnosis-a is a chronic-a case of complaining about and-a running away from your problems rather than-a actually facing them, because you think-a the latter will only do you more-a harm than good. And trust-a me, that-a way of thinking is doing no favors for your-a mental health.”
“The doc is right, Reika,” Link added glumly. “Whatever you’re doing now, it’s not solving anything. You need emotional support, and especially a confidence booster.” He thought about it for a moment, and then smiled. It was as though a lightbulb was turned on over his head. “And I think I know a way to provide you with both at once.” He leaned over and whispered something to the doctor’s ear, prompting a smile from the latter as well.
Reika sniffled, still rubbing her scorching lower cheeks. “W-what do you mean, ‘confidence booster’?”
“Ideally, my prescription for your immature and-a pointless whining would be mandatory therapy,” replied Dr. Mario, ignoring the hard elbow to the shoulder he received from Link. “But as it stands-a now, I’m signing you up for-a tryout match for the next-a Smash Bros. tournament. It won’t-a be lethal, for obvious reasons, but when it comes to hard-a lessons, nothing beats-a good old real-world experience.”
The green-haired girl got to her knees, looking a little nervous and gingerly keeping her arse from touching anything. “How can you be sure I’ll survive?”
“I promise you will,” replied Link. “Once Doc gets you in, just leave the rest to me. I’ll make sure we both have a good, clean match — and who knows? Maybe you’ll feel better knowing what you can do!”
Reika sniffled a little, still rubbing her butt with both hands, but after a moment’s thought, she nodded. “Well, I guess one audition match can’t hurt… can it?”
**********
Norfair…
Time Gal stepped through a rift in space and time onto a floating platform, the world around her bathed in an orange glow. There were five platforms total, the one in the middle at the lowest and two on each side, the upper pair further apart than the pair in the middle row. She was standing on one of the topmost platforms… high above a sea of roiling magma.
So much for the promise that she’d live, she thought in growing horror.
There was a flash of light from the uppermost platform on the other side of the field, and there was Link, the Master Sword in one hand and the Hylian Shield in the other. He raised his weapons with a winning smile. “Alright, Time Gal. Time match, items off, three minutes. Are you ready?”
Reika looked down and gulped, anticipating the inevitable, but regardless, she reached for the blaster hanging from her belt. “Just you and me, one on one. Here I come!”
THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!!!
Link was the first to make his move, coming straight at her at top speed, sword and shield raised. With his signature “HYAH!”, he leaped off the platform he had arrived on and prepared a downward swing right at her head.
Reika’s mind flashed back to her time in the Middle Ages, when knights with all manner of deadly weaponry tried to do her in. Within a matter of seconds, she lost her nerve and, with a scream of panic, turned to run for it. She only managed a few steps however before she stopped right at the edge of the platform with another cry of fright, her arms windmilling as she tried not to topple into the lava below.
There was a SWISH as Link cleaved empty air with his sword swing, the blade tip sparking as it hit the platform. A look of absolute bewilderment crossed his face as he realized what had just happened.
“What are you doing?!” he asked with dismay, before jabbing his sword forward. “Fight back, dammit!”
The sharp tip of said sword jabbed her right between her pert buttocks, and her eyes widened. “AAYIIEEEEE!!” she shrieked, jumping forward and clutching her ass in pain as her damage meter went up from 0% to 4%. It was then that she realized that she’d leaped right off the edge of the platform, and with another scream of terror and much flailing of limbs, she tried to swim through the air back onto solid ground right before gravity kicked in, pulling her down past the ledge.
There was a sharp cracking noise as the Clawshot went off, shooting over the edge and grabbing at the first thing it could catch. Link pulled as hard as he could, and the green-haired girl went sailing over his head. It turned out that he’d snagged the back of her bikini bottom, the rear strap digging right into the crack and sinking into the spot he’d poked her moments before.
“UWAAAAAHHHH!” she howled, just as the Clawshot let go and see flew all the way across the stage before landing hard on her rump on the platform at the opposite end. She skidded to a halt for a short distance, which certainly wasn’t easy on her already tortured rear end. The throw now meant her damage meter was at a solid 20%.
“Th-thank you—” she began, but the Hylian cut her off with an indignant shout.
“What in Din’s name?! You’re supposed to try and hit me back, not run away like a coward!”
“But it saved my life before!” she whined as she stood up, rubbing the sore spots on her buttocks with both hands at once.
“It won’t, not this time,” Link replied sternly, brandishing the Master Sword and pointing it at her. “I picked this stage for this match for a reason. You have nowhere to run. So show me what you can do, or else I’ll be forced to beat it out of you, and believe me, neither of us wants that. Try using your special or something, anything!”
Time Gal sniffled again, fixing her wedgied panties back in place. The space bikini was not such a good idea in hindsight, since it left both lower cheeks almost completely bare. But it was all she had, along with her—
As soon as the realization hit her, the officer’s hand was already moving. She whipped out her raygun with one swift movement and opened fire.
Her standard special, the Shikigami Shooter, was a straight shot of multiple twin energy projectiles that cris-crossed around each other as they flew through the air, a rapid-fire double-sine-wave of blue sparks. Link raised his shield on instinct, and one of the trails hit the shield dead-center, bursting into harmless pyrotechnics. He was about to congratulate her on this surprise attack when the other bullet trail struck.
The series of energy blasts had looped around the first trail, and since it was now traveling downward, it swooped below the bottom of the shield… straight towards his crotch.
KZOOWWWW!
“GYYAAAAAHHHH!”
The knight of Hyrule screamed in pain as he felt his groin explode with searing heat, instantly reaching 15% on his damage meter. Dropping his sword and shield, he toppled backwards onto the platform, his knees to his chest, his arms tucked between his legs and cupping his roasted package. “MY ROYAL JEWELS! YOU HIT ME RIGHT IN THE—”
KZOOWWWW!
“YYEEEEEOOOOOOUUUUUCH! MY AAAASSSSS!!”
His posture had exposed his rump, an opening Reika had exploited with a second blast that sent him to 35% damage. There were two smoking holes in his trousers now, one on the front and one in the back, both exposing the dark blue fabric of his undershorts beneath.
“Ahhh! I’m sorry!” Time Gal said in a mortified tone. “You asked me to use my special, and I used it!”
“Guess I walked right into that one,” he half-moaned, half-chuckled, getting to his feet with a little wobble in his stance. “Can’t you have aimed just a little bit higher?!”
He charged again, and Reika screamed in terror and started fleeing again. This time, though, she managed to regain her bearings before she could run off the edge of the platform, and as she rolled out of the way of Link’s sword slash, she fired her blaster again, but Link whirled and lowered his shield just in time, sending both shots flying harmlessly away. Slashing downward several more times, he forced her to scoot back until she was at the edge of their current platform, the next one hovering some distance below it.
As Link raised his booted foot and prepared to bring it down on her leg to pin her, Reika pushed herself backwards and off the ledge, landing hard on her ass upon the next platform with a yelp of pain. She looked up just in time to see a blue spherical object coming down towards her…
It landed right between her legs with a loud clunk, leaving her confused for a few seconds. But that was all her opponent needed to set the bomb off.
BOOOOOM!
“YYYAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” Reika went sailing once more, smoke trailing from her groin and her whole body caked with soot. Her damage now at 45%, she was so worried that her outfit was about to crumble to ash that she didn’t notice that she was flying away from the platforms until it was almost too late.
“EEEEEK!” she yelped, reaching desperately for one of the devices on her belt and fiddling with it mid-flight. There was a flash of white light as she disappeared, and then she rematerialized right above the platform she’d flown over, reaching out to grab its edge. She would soon find out that this Time Reversal was her upward special, warping back to where she was earlier; while not a good jump and useless for attacking, it could get her back to solid ground without movement input.
For now, though, she clung to the edge of the platform with one hand and sighed in relief.
“That’s it!” Link’s voice could be heard overhead with a clear undercurrent of encouragement. “You’re doing great, Reika! Keep it up!”
For one brief moment, she believed Link was right. In that instant, things seemed like they were looking up…
That was when she heard it. A hissing sizzle like grease on a fryer along with deep popping noises and a low, ominous rumble.
“W-what’s that sound?” Reika whimpered.
“What are you talking ab—!!!” Only then did her Hylian opponent look down towards the sound. His blue eyes widened in abject horror as they took in the glow of the red-hot molten rock below the stage, bubbling and boiling like the fiery heart of Death Mountain.
And it was rising up to meet them.
In a catastrophic oversight, Link had forgotten to request that the stage hazards for Norfair be deactivated. Only now did they both realize why this was recommended for audition matches for any of the stages featuring them.
Time Gal yelped in terror, pulling her knees against her chest as the sea of lava drew higher and higher. She’d once gotten stranded in the Cretaceous period and run afoul of an erupting volcano — getting scorched by lava was not an experience she was keen on repeating. She’d managed to warp back in time right before she’d landed in the magma, but she still couldn’t sit comfortably for a week afterward. The scalding-hot air just above it was nasty enough on its own.
“LIIIIINK! WHAT DO I DO?! HELP MEEEE!”
“Pull yourself up!” Link called out in reply, wondering if he could use the Clawshot to pull her to safety — and if so, if it was long enough. “You’ve got a grip on the platform, use it!!”
The lava was rising further and further. Reika swung her free arm upward and grabbed the ledge with both hands, but even as she struggled to pull herself up, the lava was steadily rising.
“AaaaaAAAAHHHH!” she yelled in pain, the scorching air turning both buttocks red like meat on a griddle. The bubbles were popping dangerously close. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried for one last pull… Right as a particularly large bubble arose right under her bottom, jutting below her mere inches from her fiery doom.
BLOOSH-FSSSSSS!!!
Her eyes snapped wide open for one brief instant, and in the next, she was airborne. “EEEEYYYEEEOOOWOWOWOWWW! IT BUUUURRRNS!” As she flew skyward with both hands on her behind and her damage meter at 57%, Link could see the smoke trailing from a few small holes burnt into the back of her panties, denoting where the lava had hit.
Reika landed hard on her ass on the nearby platform, skidding to a halt and whining in pain from the friction on her already scorched tuchus. She got to her feet with a noticeable wobble in her legs, looking around frantically in search of her opponent. “W-where are you?!” she cried out.
She got her answer within the next few seconds. A whirling noise like a miniature tornado was her only warning before something snagged the back of her space bikini bottom, yanking it up and backwards as she lost her footing, caught entirely off-guard.
“YYYAAAAAHHHH! NO NO NONONONOOOO!!” she howled, struggling to pull herself free as the Boomerang twisted her rear undergarment in flight, pulling the spandex betwixt her buttocks once more. Blinking back tears of pain, Reika looked round just in time to see Link charging at her once again.
It was as though her mind had gone into slow-motion. As if by magic, two white arrows appeared around her, one pointing down and two towards either side. It would only occur to her much later that this was, in fact, her side special: the Action Command.
Link was already preparing to swing his sword at his opponent, but the moment he saw the arrows appear, he realized that she had the potential to counter the strike. For all he knew, she could be setting up a counterattack of her own! Thinking quickly, he sheathed the Master Sword with one swift movement and grabbed the back of his belt, attempting to bring out another Remote Bomb to distract the girl and buy him some time.
Reika was not having it, though. She chose the downward arrow and, as the arrows vanished and the boomerang finally came loose from her underwear, she dropped down and swung her leg around to sweep Link’s feet out from under him.
“NO NO WAIT—” the Hylian tried to say, but it was too late. The bomb had already been primed by his Gerudo tablet, and the slightest impact could set it off.
His butt hitting the platform, incidentally, counted as an impact…
KABOOOOM!
“YEEEOOOWWW!” Link yelled as he went skyward, blue fire trailing from his pants seat and trailing smoke in his wake. His damage meter now at 50%, he managed to reach a platform above and behind him, hitting the surface hard with his behind and instantly beginning to roll around frantically to try and put the flames out.
Reika, on the other hand, was not so lucky.
“NGAAAAAAAAH!” Wiping the soot from her face, Time Gal found herself arcing through the air once again. Desperate to save herself, she used her Time Reversal once again, but tragically, she misjudged the distance. Link gasped in horror as he saw her fingers just barely miss the platform she’d tried to grab, and could only watch as she plummeted butt-first towards the lava beneath her.
“OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
FWOOOOOOSH!
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOWWWWIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
The bloodcurdling scream made Link’s ears ring. Time Gal shot straight up like a rocket, brilliant orange flames trailing from her crumbling bikini bottom, her lower cheeks glowing red-hot and ablaze with the absolute worst pain imaginable. Her damage meter was now at 75%.
Once again, the lava was rising fast. Right behind Link, a shelter structure rose from the platform, its door sliding open. His blood ran cold as he realized exactly what this meant.
“REIKA! IN HERE!!” he cried as he got to his feet and bolted inside, his pants still smoldering.
Terrified, Reika used an Action Command once again, this time trying the sideways arrows. Just as she was about to fall again, she seemed to blink out of existence and reappeared a few feet to the left, landing safely on solid ground. A few moments later, her lower wear gave out and crumbled to ash.
“AHHHHH! DON’T LOOK AT MEEEE!” she yelled, covering her nether regions with both hands, but that was about to become the least of her problems.
“REIKA!!!” Link yelled, pointing at something off to her side.
She looked around — and screamed in terror. A massive wave of lava was now barreling straight at the stage!
“RUN FOR IT, REIKA!” Link called out in panic. “GET IN! HURRY!!!”
“EEEEK!! Don’t have to tell me twiiiiiice!!!”
Without any more interest in covering her crotch, she bolted for the shelter. Hoisting herself up each ledge, she flung herself upward towards the highest platform where the shelter was as Link reached out in a bid to pull her in. The roar of the lava wave grew louder by the second as the wall of fiery doom closed in…
Her fingers closed around his hand with seconds to spare. He pulled her in just in time as the shelter door slid shut—”
“AAHHHH!” Reika cried in sudden pain as a loud THUNK was heard. She looked around with a horrified expression to see that the door had shut right as her bare ass had been about to clear the opening. Now it was jammed, sticking out the doorway, and completely unprotected.
“LINK!! PULL ME IIIIIN!!” she cried, reaching out with both hands for him to grab in a bid to do exactly that. To his credit, he did so without hesitation.
“Who designed this shelter?!” he cried as he tried pulling her inside. “The stupid door won’t even open!”
The lava wave was now mere seconds away, the heat already warping the air around the entire battlefield as it barreled towards the two. There was no escaping, but Reika tried her best anyway, kicking her feet and twisting her body about. Yet the door held firm, as though trying to hold her butt out towards the incoming inferno.
“NOOOO! PLEASE NO! NOOOO! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!”
There was a tremendous FOOM as Reika unleashed an outward-expanding pulse of white light. Her down special, the Time Bomb, had gone off, producing an effect identical to Shadow the Hedgehog’s Chaos Control! The good news was that it stopped the lava wave from pouring into the shelter and incinerating both fighters… The bad news, though, was that time had stopped in a localized sphere around them right as the lava wave had passed the shelter, leaving a significant amount of molten rock stuck in midair… in direct contact with Reika’s already well-done buns.
FFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
Time Gal’s eyes watered as the smell of cooked meat hit the nostrils of both of them. “OOOWWWWIIIIEEEEEEEEEEYYYIIIEEEEE!!” she shrieked, struggling to pull herself free from the liquid inferno as her damage meter’s percentage ticked higher by the second. “MY BISCUITS ARE BURNIIIINNNGGG! LINK, HELP MEEEEE!”
Link had remained just outside the radius of the Time Bomb, his back pressed to the inside of the shelter. The instant he realized Reika was in trouble, he rushed forth and grabbed her wrists in a bid to try and pull her out of her predicament. “Hang on! Hold still, will you?!”
“AAAAHHHHHH! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFFFF!!!”
“I’M TRYING!! STOP STRUGGLING!!”
Unfortunately for the two of them, it was then that the Time Bomb’s effect chose to wear off. The magma wave had mercifully passed the shelter by, so they weren’t in danger of getting incinerated, but the glob of molten rock that had been suspended in mid-air ended up splashing onto the floor of the shelter. In that same precise moment, Link lost his footing and felt his legs swing upwards, resulting in his rump dropping towards the floor. The end result of this was that he ended up sitting down hard on the puddle of lava now directly underneath him, his ass breaking the thin crust of cooled magma and sinking directly into the molten interior with a loud WHUMP-SSSSSSSS!
The poor Hylian gasped in shock, his face screwing up in pain and turning brilliant red over the next few seconds. Time Gal was rendered speechless by the horrid sight, but winced in sympathy.
“YIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!” Link hollered at the top of his voice, leaping high enough to smash a hole right through the ceiling of the shelter and rocket high into the air. His damage meter shot up to 80% as he arced through the air, flames and smoke trailing from his bottom as the rest of his clothes, having caught fire from the sheer heat of the lava, started burning away to nothing from his seat outwards.
Mercifully, the door of the now-damaged shelter opened up at that moment and spilled Reika onto the platform, but the ground was still heated from the lava bath it had just received. “YYYAAAAHHHHH!” she yelled, leaping into the air and, unknowingly, off the platform the two had been standing on. So blinded by the pain in her glowing red buttocks was she that she wasn’t even aware of her surroundings. Her damage was now at 90%, and still rising.
As she opened her eyes, her world went white — the glow surrounding her entire body now with a fiery, iridescent aura.
“REEIIIIKAAAAA!!!”
Link’s voice snapped her back to reality. Reika whirled in mid-air to see that a now shirtless, pants-less, briefs-clad Link was free-falling towards who knew what, but whatever was waiting below could not have been pleasant.
“Link! I’ll save you!!” Reika cried, activating the first thing she could think of. Unfortunately, despite meaning to use the Action Command, it was her Final Smash that was discharged.
“REIKA, WAIT! NO—” Link yelled, but it was too late. Time Gal’s Final Smash, the Space-Time Stream, was already headed his way. The straight line of dangerous entities, traveling along a “bridge” of starlight spanning across the battlefield, worked identically to the fleet of racing Shy Guys in the Figure-8 Circuit, except they were all traveling in a straight line and had much larger hitboxes — and every time an opponent was juggled by them, the knockback would increase, sending the opponent further skyward… and potentially into the blast zone.
Since he had taken less damage throughout the fight than Time Gal had, Link was not in danger (yet) of losing a stock, but he’d just used his Spin Attack to try and return to safe ground and was now in a helpless state, powerless to stop his descent. The Hylian could only scream in horror as he descended towards an onrush of dinosaurs, wild beasts, gladiators, knights, and space warriors, most if not all of whom were armed with something viciously pointy or dangerously hot, all gunning for him. And since his rump was the nearest part of him to them…
SHNNK! POINK! FSSS! STAB! FWOOSH! SHANK!
“YEEEOOWWW! OWWW! OH NONONO— AIIEEE! OWOWOWOW! REIKAAA! YOU’RE PUSHING ME OFF THE STAAAIIIGE! EEYOOUUUCH! PLEASE DON’T— AHHH!!!”
With ten seconds left on the timer, Reika finally saw the glow around her fade back into nothing, only to realize that she was still floating in mid-air. Link was far and away on the other side of the stage, and both of them were at exactly 100% damage, unable to use any recovery options… and cartoonishly hovering right above the red-hot lava which was rising up to meet them once again.
“Uh-oh…” Time Gal whimpered.
FWOOP! FWOOP!
“UWWAAAAHHHH!!!” Reika wailed.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Link shrieked.
Five!
The two of them could only scream simultaneously as they both plummeted, butt-first, towards their fiery demise below.
Four!
FWHOOOOSHHH-SSSSSS!!! Both of them hit the lava at the exact same time, their clothing crumbling away into charred cinders and their asses heating up to a brilliant, glowing orange.
Three!
They gave each other tearful looks of agonized horror.
Two!
“YYIIIIEEEEE…” they moaned as one.
One!
“…EEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIYYIEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! MY BOTTOOOMMMMM!!!” the two of them screamed louder than ever, rocketing so high into the air that they nearly hit the blast zone, dual infernos streaming from a pair of painstakingly punished peaches.
TIME!!!
…
……
NO CONTEST!
The two of them were now standing in the middle of the victory field, scorched and covered in ashes, bereft of any clothing whatsoever and still in overwhelming pain. Neither of them had the energy to even move, and all they could do was silently lament their current condition. At least until Link keeled over forward and hit the ground, face-first.
Reika was the first to speak up, her voice cracked from all that screaming. “Aw, maaaan…” she whined. “I failed the mission…”
Link didn’t even look up as he lay face-first on the ground, his battered backside sticking in the air and his pants trailing smoke. “So… um…”
“Huh?”
“…Truce?”
Reika coughed a puff of smoke, still nursing her own roasting rump and desperately wishing for an ice pack. “Yeah… T-truce.”
**********
Just outside Dr. Mario’s office…
It had taken the better part of an hour for Dr. Mario and the Lumas on staff to care for both of them, their butts especially. Their outfits and backsides mercifully repaired, Reika and Link exited the double doors with the doctor close behind, the three of them stopping just outside the ward.
“So… How did it-a go?” Dr. Mario asked after a moment of silence. “Aside-a from… well…”
Reika thought about it for a second, and then hung her head in shame. “I didn’t win,” she admitted.
Link patted her on the shoulder. “Would now be a good time to ask for a rematch later? Best two out of three, perhaps?”
“What do you mean, later? I want it now!” Reika gave him a determined, indignant look. “You’ve made a powerful rival, and I’m not gonna stop until I beat you!”
Link snorted in amusement. “Whatever happened to the girl who was too afraid of dying to talk to anybody?”
She blinked in surprise. “W-what?”
The corners of Dr. Mario’s mouth turned upward. “So, it-a actually worked?”
Reika blinked again. “Huh?”
“If you ask me, the gamble paid off handsomely,” Link replied, smiling. “We may have both lost in the end, but by the goddesses, you should’ve seen Reika in the heat of the battle…”
She elbowed him in the arm. “That wasn’t a good choice of words, y’know!”
“Sorry.”
“But yeah,” Reika said to the doctor. “I didn’t know I could get the feeling anymore, but when I started shooting and hit my stride in that fight, I felt… alive. Alive again. In that moment, my world was just me, Link, and the lava.” She shuddered a little, rubbing her butt once more. “Especially the lava. But you get my point…”
“That’s what those-a matches are for,” Dr. Mario replied. “To keep us-a sharp, and to keep us feeling-a good about ourselves. I would-a know, I’ve engaged in-a plenty of ‘em. When I’m-a reassured that I can-a hold my own in single combat, I’d feel like-a I can-a take on the world!”
“And now that you know you can fight me to a standstill, molten rock obviously notwithstanding,” Link asked to Reika, “do you feel like you can face whatever threats this meeting of worlds will throw at you?”
She laughed cheerfully. “I guess I should’ve whipped out my blaster more often! I never thought I’d get to experience the feeling from pelting whatever’s onto me with lasers ever again, especially given the whole ‘running away from my problems’ issue, but oh man, have I missed it. Though that doesn’t mean the horrible flashbacks are gonna go away anytime soon,” she added with a shudder.
“I’m-a still going to find-a therapist for you and everything you’ve been through after all these-a years,” said Dr. Mario, “but-a may I ask-a you how you’re feeling-a now?”
Reika composed herself for a moment, and then smiled. “Never been better. Thank you so much, both of you. I needed to hear all the stuff you told me. Though that being said, I doubt I’d want to visit the infirmary again anytime soon — man, those syringes sting!”
Dr. Mario laughed in embarrassment. “Guess I really should-a restock on the anesthetic.”
“As much as I enjoy idle chit-chat, I don’t wish to keep you any further,” Link cut in. “I’m sure you have other patients to look after. For the time being, I’ll see if I can arrange for a place for Reika to stay — if she wants to, of course.”
Reika nodded. “I’d be honored. Besides, I’m serious about the rematch. I’ve gotta train up so I can beat you next time!”
“As long as it’s not my bottom that gets beaten, you’re on,” Link replied, grinning.
“Now, that’s-a what I like to hear!” Dr. Mario beamed. “Go on, now! Take-a care!”
“Bye, now! Thank you!”
“Farewell!”
With that, the two youths headed off the way they’d come. As they walked together, they regaled each other with their respective experiences from their own games, competing a bit to see which of their adventures was more exciting. It was as though all that cowering on Reika’s part at mere shadows or distant noises had never even happened.
Finally, they’d found the weapons storeroom where they’d first met. There was a piece of taped to the wall next to the massive hole the explosives had torn in it, reading “OUT OF ORDER”; the structure of the room itself, though, was still largely intact, though it was of course in shambles and all the stuff that it normally held had not been picked up since they’d left. Oddly enough, a certain blue urchin creature was nowhere to be seen.
“Sheesh, nobody’s bothered to tidy this spot since we left?” Link asked in dismay. “I oughta talk to the Toads to help out with—”
“Oh no no, I’ll take care of it,” Reika replied with an apologetic laugh. “Never got to say this earlier, but I’m sorry about the door! I’ll clean this up if it helps make it up to you.”
“Oh, can I help, then?”
“No need, I’ve got it handled. You said you’d arrange for a place for me to stay, right? There should still be time to talk to whoever’s in charge of this mansion so I can get a bed before tonight. Dunno about you, but I’m sick and tired of having to sleep in the broom closet,” she added in an abashed tone.
“Well, if you think you can handle it, then it’s not like I can stop you,” Link replied. “But before I go…”
She turned around, and then adopted a countenance of surprise. He was offering a hand for her to shake.
“I don’t know if it’s safe to hug you after all you’ve been through,” he said, “but I suppose I could—”
She’d slammed into him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders before he could even finish his line.
And he couldn’t help but hug back.
“Thank you so much,” Reika all but sobbed. “You did me a very big favor today, and I don’t know how to repay you. But I’m sure I’ll think of something soon enough!”
“You can start by talking to the other fighters,” he replied, shrugging. “I’m sure they’d be happy to get to know you as much as I am. Right now or tomorrow, just remember to reach out as soon as you can and whenever you can.”
“I will. I promise!”
They disengaged, and shook hands for good measure.
“I don’t know how soon before we cross paths again,” said Reika. “But for what it’s worth, I’m glad I met you in the first place.”
Link couldn’t help but beam with pride for her. “You can say that again,” he chuckled.
Once the Hero of Hyrule had left, Reika took a look at all the items scattered about, and cracked her knuckles. If she was going to be more engaged with the rest of the Smash Mansion’s residents from now on, she might as well make herself useful.
The cleanup lasted for the better part of twenty minutes, but finally, she managed to put the last item — the Fire Bar that she’d accidentally blown the room up with — into the appropriate pile without turning it on by accident. The items were all in the ruined room, organized by type, and ready to be collected and sent away by whomever came by to fix the wall. Hopefully there’d be another room or even a warehouse they could be kept in until this specific chamber was repaired.
Which left just one remaining question: Whatever had happened to that Unira that had been blasted out of the storeroom?
She took a look around, shrugged, and decided she’d look for it later, so she could put it back before someone stepped on it. With that, she wiped her brow in exhaustion, before leaning against the wall and letting her back slide down towards the floor.
SHINNK!
“OOWWWWIIIEEEEEEEEE!” Reika shot into the air so high that she nearly bonked her head on the ceiling, clutching at her buttocks in agony. She shrieked as she fell back towards the floor, about to land hard on the ends of the two dozen foot-long blue spines now sticking out of her buttocks.
WHMP-SHINNK!
The spines had been driven even deeper into her lower cheeks, almost to the hilt. Her eyes widened and teared up, her lips working, her pretty face reddening and screwing up in pain.
“YIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHH!!!”
Her anguished wail still echoed down the hallway for quite a while, even as she rolled onto her side and then her stomach, still sobbing and grabbing at her pincushioned behind which was now sticking up in the air. Only then did she notice the blue sea urchin sitting below the wall she’d been resting against a few seconds earlier, some of its spines freshly missing — no doubt it had been hiding under that shield she’d picked up earlier.
“Ooooh…” Time Gal moaned in utter agony as she pressed her face to the floor, the realization that she’d have to pay yet another visit to Dr. Mario making her heart sink. “So that’s where it went…”
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