Treasure Punt (Butt Abuse)

Illustration: "Fish Feud" by Marmotap

This might quite possibly be our wordiest story yet, especially for a one-off - I had to trim down quite a bit of text to fit the DeviantArt file size limit and make room for the accompanying illustration - but we had a lot of fun while writing it. The original idea came from a picture I saw in a children's book once, which I incidentally sent as inspiration material to the person I commissioned the picture from. Things only escalated from there, especially because sea life offers a lot of opportunities for hot-buns situations even if few people look past fish-bites, crab pinching, and the occasional sea urchin. It was also nice to write a story with just one character getting his comeuppance due to a lot of external non-human factors for once, rather than more complex interactions between multiple people.

You haven't seen the last of this hapless fish-boy, either - we've already named him in a private discussion and are planning on working him into one of my existing series. We just need to develop the actual story where he'll be bought in, of course, but that's an issue for another day...

________________________________________

Treasure Punt

by Skaea and an anonymous co-writer
 
Contains: */M Butt abuse. NSFW.

Word Count: 5,245
________________________________________

The old wreck sat among others of its kind in the depths of the crystal-blue sea, surrounded by corals of every shape and color. It was an old pirate ship, sunken several hundred years, or so it was thought. It was rumored that this particular shipwreck contained a mysterious collection of lost artifacts, left unspent by its captain and crew. More than a few interested parties, including the Navy, wanted to know more about the lore, and thus intended to bring the shipwreck in for experiments and tests. For some reason, however, the local sailors and fishermen regarded these waters with fear and suspicion. Not a single boat would dare venture here — but that wasn’t to say that people could sail there.

So it was quite a surprise that on this day, a sleek, lithe figure cut through the water, scattering fish and sending shrimp and crabs diving for cover. It was a human male, no older than twenty-four and apparently of Filipino descent. He had dark tan skin, bluish-silver hair, and striking white-gold eyes, as well as a mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth. Silvery spiny fins grew from the sides of his forearms and shins, which had small silvery fish scales, and if one looked closely they could see a gill slit on either side of his neck, which was also scaled. The young man wore a latex jumpsuit, silver on the chest and belly and dark blue elsewhere; it was short, only coming to his thighs and upper arms, as though he was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, so the fins on his arms and legs were unobstructed. His feet were clad with a pair of short flippers, and his hands were likewise clad in webbed gloves, both blue in color. He had no goggles on — with eyes able to function underwater, he didn’t need any.

Slicing through the water like a knife, the finned man had only one objective in mind: the very wreck that the locals were so determined to avoid.

They said that not a single human being dared to trespass upon this mysterious place. But they hadn’t figured on a genetically engineered super-soldier, a hybrid combining the cunning of a human and the undersea prowess of a barracuda. And anyway, no old rumor was going to keep him away from a break this big!

He arrived at the wreck, stopping to examine it as a whole. “Wow...it’s beautiful. And untouched,” he said to himself. “That means I can loot it, and no one will know that anything is missing! Haha! Time to get to work!”

Silently stealing his way towards the wreck, he was intent on claiming his prize, hoping to send it to his client for the promised sum. But he wasn’t aware that many eyes were watching him now, and none at all human…

The reef was a beautiful seascape, untouched by man or machine, and thus filled with sea life. It was almost impossible to find a route to the wreck, and some of the coral spires were as tall as small houses, obscuring the sunlight filtering down to the reef and casting patterns of light and dark across it. But it was easy to find the wrecks themselves — just look for the ones shaped like ships, with notably fewer corals around them than the coral spires…

As he took in his gorgeous surroundings, he felt completely safe and let down his guard. It felt as though he swam right into a set from that one mermaid movie. A few moments of admiration later, however, he shook his head and got back on task. The treasure couldn’t just steal itself!

Once he’d reached the place in question, he saw a hole in the hull of the ship and swam through. It was noticeably bleaker inside of the ship, though not lifeless — it had seaweed growing inside along with other ocean plants, and lanternfish swam around inside in glittering shoals.

“Now… Where is that treasure?” he asked himself, looking around.

Somewhere nearby, however, something much bigger swam silently behind the boy, stalking him as if he was prey. The boy looked around, as if he sensed something.

“Strange… Whatever. I need to get that treasure!”

The boy continued to look around, going through several rooms of the ship. The wreck looked smaller from the outside and he wondered if there was even any treasure there.

“If I was treasure, where would I hide?” the boy asked himself. “I’ve looked almost everywhere.” He swam out of the wreck and scanned it for other openings, before a thought occurred to him.

“Aha — the back of the ship has a hole. I’ll check there.” He swam to the back of the ship and lo and behold, there was a single gold coin. “Just one gold coin? Oh come on! There has to be more!”

Grumbling to himself, he went through the hole and, sure enough, found a couple of large chests.

“Yes! Here it is!”

The chests were extremely hard to open, as the boy found out. He struggled with the lid, grunting a little. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath.

As he paused, he looked behind him. There was that strange feeling again.

“Something is definitely watching me. It’s giving me the creeps… It’s probably nothing. A fish perhaps.” He shook his head and tried to open the chests again.

The chest lids seemed to be really stuck. He struggled for several minutes, his bum sticking straight up. His body was muscular and toned, like an Olympic swimmer, and that included buttocks which were round and meaty without a flaw to be seen. It was oh so tempting to the unseen creature eyeing it, which silently snapped its jaws a couple of times in impatient anticipation.

Still it kept watching the boy as he continued to open the chest, that perfectly rounded target wiggling about in a tantalizing manner. A few seconds later, however, he sensed the water currents betraying its presence — a second too late as it finally made its move.

With a yell of alarm, he ducked just in time. He heard a snap of teeth and squeaked in panic. If he hadn’t moved in time, his delicious looking buns would have been fish food.

With another startled cry, he dove to the side just as the torpedo-like shape blew past him. Twisting around, a chill ran down his spine as he saw the distinctive triangular dorsal fin and pointed snout — a reef shark, no doubt defending its hunting ground. But what was it doing inside the ship…?

“Go away! Leave me be! Shoo!” The boy yelled at the shark, hoping to scare it away.

As the shark swooped in again, the boy hit it on the nose, hoping to deter it. He’d missed its gills and eyes, which would’ve been more delicate, but the gesture was enough to show that he was not worth hunting.

However, he’d underestimated the creature — it was defending its turf, and it wouldn’t tolerate his presence.

The boy turned around and went back to collecting his precious treasure. But then the shark circled around, and with a yelp of alarm, he felt the water rippling around it as it barreled in a second time.

And this time, he wasn’t quite fast enough in terms of pulling his bottom out of harm’s way…

SNAP!

“YYYEEEOOOUUUCH!! MY AAAASSSSS!” He grabbed his hips in pain and wiggled his bum. Looking around in terror, he saw that the shark’s teeth had torn a large hole in his wetsuit.

I’ve gotta get outta here! he thought, seeing the shark circle around a second time. But it’s blocking the entrance! Where—

“Yes! A way out!” He yelled out as he spotted another hole in the ship. He swam for it as fast as he could, the shark in pursuit. But sadly, it was much smaller than he thought it was.

“AAACK! NOOOO!”

His lower half of his body had gotten stuck in the hole. The rotten wood would be easy to break, but he had to position his limbs just right to pull himself out — back into the ship, with the fearsome fish still in there with him.

“AAAHHHH!!!! GET ME OUTTT!!” He planted his feet on the wooden walls of the ship beneath the hole on either side, trying to pull himself out of the hole. His delicate ass was once again sticking out and once again tempting the aggressive shark. This time, however, there was no spandex protecting his rump.

Like a harpoon from a gun, the creature shot forward, sinking its razor-sharp teeth into his quivering caboose!

CHOMP!

“YEEEEEOOOUUUUCCCHHHH!!!!”

SNAP!

“OOOOOWWWWIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!”

CRUNCH!

“YYYYYIIIIIAAAAAOOOOOWWWWWCCCHHHH!!!”

After several minutes of enduring many bites and excruciating pain in his bottom, the boy finally managed to pull himself free, fleeing as fast as he could from the hole in the ship. Luckily, the shark didn’t pursue him, as it had succeeded in putting him to flight.

It was only after he’d traveled some distance away from the wreck when he finally stopped. He cradled his wounded rump and glowered at the sunken ship. It was only one fish that had bitten him, and if it hadn’t surprised him he’d have beaten it off without any trouble. But there had to be some other way inside…

*****

It was a few hours before the fish-boy was back at the sunken ship. His bottom had been bandaged, which could be seen under his tight wetsuit.

“I REALLY hope nothing bad happens this time…” he groaned and winced, rubbing his bottom at the painful memory. There was no way he was getting in the back of the ship if there were sharks lurking inside. But he hadn’t checked the other side…

There could be another hole. If there is, I can get in that way. He smiled as he thought this to himself.

Clouds of fish scattered as he swam to the opposite side of the ship. The reef was densely populated with corals here, but more importantly, spiny purple and black sea urchins clung to the many rock spires here, bristling with long needle-like spines.

The fish-boy took one look at the urchins, and shuddered. Knowing the luck I’m having, I oughta stay away from those things. So he did just that as he made his way towards the ship.

Unbeknownst to him, a second shark swam nearby, already eyeing him. It moved a little closer, hoping to investigate the intruder — but then it sensed something bigger moving nearby, and quickly swam away.

Slipping his body through the smaller hole leading into the wreck, the fish-boy looked around. Nothing he could see, alas, was glittery. If only he could just get in a little further…

He tried to squeeze through the hole in the wood. Alas, this one was also too small to fit his waist. “Craaaap! Not again!!”

Once again, his bum was up and looking extremely tempting to the unknown creature. The fish-boy growled and tried his best to free himself. He didn’t notice the unknown animal was approaching since he was so focused on getting out of his predicament.

He struggled even more, his bottom wiggling as if inviting the creature in. He continued to fight with the hole, not realizing that the creature was coming even closer, and now taking aim with a long, pointed snout.

That was when he finally sensed it barreling at him with incredible speed and—

SHNNK!

—felt an extremely sharp pain in the middle of his buttocks.

“EEEYYYYEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCHHHH!!”

The boy’s eyes widened and he let out a scream of pure agony as pain rushed through his bottom, so great that it actually caused him to propel himself through the hole with a burst of sudden strength.

He groaned and held his pierced rump, glancing back to see that whatever had speared it had vanished from view. “Ouuuuch… my ass…” he pouted. “Well… At least I’m safely inside the ship…”

After rubbing his sore bottom a second time, he looked around, trying his best to ignore the hole punched into the seat of his suit. “Now to to get to the treasure room. Where was that again?”

For a few long minutes, he swam around the inside of the ship, trying to find the way back to the treasure. Disappointingly, the front of the wreck was also bereft of anything glittery. Had someone already been here a while ago? It’d be extremely upsetting if that was the case. He tried not to consider that possibility as he continued making his way through the ship, scattering a bunch of eight-inch bluefish in the process.

Finally, after several minutes of searching the ship, he found the treasure room again, thankfully this time without any sharks present. He swam over to the same chests as before, and once again tried — and failed — to open one of them.

“Come on! Stop being stubborn! Open!”

But the lid wouldn’t budge. It seemed like the hinges had gotten rusted so badly that they couldn’t move.

After a few more minutes of tugging, the chest finally opened. The movement was so sudden that he was caught off guard — so much so that he lost his balance and fell into the chest, getting his top half stuck when the lid fell back down. “AAACK!”

Kicking and struggling, he tried in vain to escape the tight hold of the chest, muffled screams coming from the gap. But even as his legs flailed around, the school of bluefish from earlier began to surround his plump, recently punctured ass…

The boy shivered when he felt a fish touch his left buttock. “Tangina mo… Is that what I think it is…?” he asked himself nervously.

The fish paused for one moment, and then — SHING! — they all bared mouths full of razor-sharp fangs.

“EEK!” the boy yelped in terror.

SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP! Next thing he knew, the fish had swarmed him all at once and begun to mercilessly bite his buttocks.

“OOOWWWWW!!!! STOOOPPPP!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!! NOOOO!!! YYEEEEOOOOUUUUUCCCHHH!! AAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!” He suddenly felt the seat of his wetsuit being torn away. “NOT AGAIIINNN!!! OOOOUUUUUCCCHHHH!!! YYYEEEOOOOOWWWWWIIIIIEEEEE!!!”

After several long minutes of painful bluefish bites and struggling to pull himself free of the chest, he finally escaped. He rubbed his sore butt and groaned then notice that the fish were amassing again, teeth snapping and gnashing before they darted at him with alarming speed.

“NOPE! I’M OUT! I’LL LEAVE YOUR TREASURE ALONE!” With a kick of his flippers, he shot towards to the hole he came through originally… and jolted to a halt. “GAAAAH!”

Once again, he had gotten stuck.

“NO! NOOOO!!” He did his best to pull himself out of his predicament but it was no use. The fish once again surrounded his swollen and bitten bottom. They eyed it for a few moments, and then attacked again.

CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!!

“EEEEYYYYYYIIIIIAAAAOOOOOWWWWWCCCCHHHHH!!!” The hapless boy screamed in pain. With adrenaline pumping through his veins, he managed to get himself free. He was swimming way too fast to realize that he couldn’t avoid the sea urchins from earlier and did his best to turn away from them, but pointed his already very sore bottom to the pointy urchins…

SHNNNNKK!

The boy’s eyes widened as he felt the sharp, burning pain in his rump. He held his pierced bottom, now impaled by dozens of venomous needles, before he shot upwards towards the surface, fluid leaking from his eyes and into the sea around him.

“YYEEEOOOOWWWWW!!! IT BUUUURRNNNS! OWOWOWOWOOOOWWWWWWCH!!!”

*****

The boy was back for the third time. He had cared for his aching bottom for quite a bit longer than the last disaster, and it was bandaged even more. This time, however, he was determined to get whatever he could from the wreck.

Upon finding the wreck once again, he huffed in exasperation, and then took off, swimming straight to the sunken ship and directly to the treasure room.

Looking around, he rubbed his still sore rear and gritted his pointed teeth. “Fuck it. I’m gonna grab what I can and get the hell out. I don’t wanna deal with anymore hostile sea life.”

He opened the chest and started looking for the most precious and expensive jewels and coins. Disappointingly, there was nothing but decayed junk in there, until a gleam caught his eye.

“Oooh, what’s this?” His eyes widened as he took in the glint of the doubloon at the bottom of the chest. He grinned in triumph. “This is so mine.”

With a greedy expression, he snatched up the coin and, without a moment’s hesitation, put it in his suit.

Or more specifically, a small pocket on the seat of his pants. He looked around for anymore treasure. “How is there no more treasure in this damned ship!? It’s a pirate ship! There should be treasure!”

Whether there was more treasure would never be known to man, but if that really was the case, it would be hidden away very deep in the ship, and he figured he just wasn’t looking hard enough. But more importantly, the ancient forces protecting it were well aware that he was far too close, even elsewhere in the ship. There was a reason nobody knew where the rest of the booty was hidden, if it existed at all.

Not coincidentally, it was also the reason that all the life forms in the vicinity knew exactly where his booty was at any given moment.

A bluefish had just noticed the glint of the thing he had put in his back pocket. It looked almost exactly like a smaller fish slipping into his pants, and it was not about to pass up the chance for a quick bite…

Something else caught the boy’s attention, and he bent over to examine it. He was hoping that it could be more treasure, but alas, it was just a piece of garbage. But before he could get up, the bluefish had darted forward, and—

CRUNCH!

“AAUUUUURRRRGHH!” The boy yelled in pain, grabbing his already very sore and injured bottom. “OOOOWWWW!! GET OOFFFFF!!” He yelled as he looked behind him and saw the fish sinking its teeth into the seat of his suit.

Finally, with a great ripping noise, the fish managed to wrench itself free, tearing a hole in the seat of his pants in the process.

“Damnit! Not AGAIN! This was my last suit!”

The fish darted off, a piece of fabric in its mouth, turning and swimming in a circle nearby as if to taunt him.

“Tarantado! I’ll get you for that!” The boy lunged at the fish, trying to grab it. But it zipped off and disappeared through the hole by which he’d entered.

“Whatever, you stupid fish…” he sighed to himself, and went back to looking around for treasure. He idly reached for his back pocket… only to find that the doubloon he had was gone. As was the pocket itself, courtesy of the bluefish tearing it off.

“Oh for the love of — you damn fish! You took the only thing that I found!”

He looked around more frantically, trying to find the little thief. Just then, he saw movement in the corner of his eye, and his golden eyes gleamed. “I’ve got you now, you little asshole!”

Like a harpoon thrown by a fisherman, the mutant Filipino bolted in the direction of the figure — and then braked as hard as he could, a yell of terror escaping his lips.

The swordfish staring him down was ten feet long, its long, flat, and extremely sharp bill easily comprising a third of that length. It had no teeth, instead using its bill to swipe at and stun small fish so it could catch them easily, but its sleek, black and white form was, somehow, even more fearsome than the toothiest shark. It regarded him with its large eyes, and dipped its body, its bill aiming directly at his crotch.

“AAAHHHH!!” He panicked and turned around, swimming away from the marine predator, but with a flick of its tail, it was on him in less than a second. Not even a hybrid being like him could escape one of the fastest fish in the sea.

SHNNK!

“EEEYYYYOOOOWWWWIIIIIEEEEE!!!”

Spurred by the incredible pain of the swordfish piercing his left buttock through the hole in the seat of his suit, the boy shot off like a bullet towards the opening in the side of the ship, desperate to escape. Only now did he realize that it was probably this ferocious creature that had stabbed his ass much earlier.

The boy was swimming so fast that he didn’t realize the hole he was heading to was way too small for his curvy hips to fit. He found himself stuck, once again, in a hole.

“NOOO!! NOT AGAIN!! HOW MANY TIMES IS THIS GONNA HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEOOOUUUCH!!!”

With an audible SHIKK, the swordfish had rammed his other buttock with its spear-like nose. The jolt of pain combined with the force of the impact thrust him through the hole in the wood and into the ship, whereupon he scrambled deep into the passageways below the deck, fuming and unhappy.

A flash of scales caught his eye. He turned around to see the fish with the fabric scrap in its mouth, staring at the boy, taunting him once more from out of his reach.

The poor boy groaned and held his sore backside. “Damn you! This is your fault!”

The fish swam up, turned, and smacked his nose with its tail fin before zooming off.

“AAAARRRGH! WHY YOU LITTLE—!” The boy screamed in rage, his skin flush with an angry reddish tone. Next moment, he was barreling after the fish, which had just swum its way out of the ship through the hole on the other side when he caught up with it, reaching out and grabbing its tail fin.

“YES! Now gimme the doubloon!” the boy yelled at the fish, which struggled to slip out of his grasp but kept its mouth closed tight.

Then he sensed the water currents changing behind him, schools of fish scattering in all directions. The streamlined shape of the swordfish was ascending over the deck of the ship, preparing for another run at the hapless intruder.

“WAIT! WAAAIT!! LEAVE ME ALOOOONE!!!” Screaming, he let go of the bluefish and swam as fast as he could, trying to prevent his bottom from being painfully pierced yet again.

Desperately looking around for some form of cover, any cover, his eyes found a small pile of wooden barrels that lay near the ship. Thinking fast, he shot towards the nearest one, opened the lid, and dove inside, flipping himself back upright to shut the lid over him. In the process, however, he tipped the barrel onto its side. There was a hole on the bottom of the barrel, but it’d have to do for now.

The bluefish, however, had noticed the hole, and then it swam up to investigate. It saw that the hole was just level with the boy’s bottom, which was now bare and quite vulnerable thanks to the seat being torn off. He had also been forced to fold his knees to his sides while hiding in the barrel, so his lower cheeks were spread wide and in contact with its bottom. His tight, puckered asshole was so close to the hole that the bluefish could practically see it.

Of course, the fish was unable to bite, since its mouth was already full. But the curse was not going to let this opportunity slip by. So it swam up towards the swordfish, which was circling around above the ship, trying to find the thief who had dared to steal from it.

The bluefish swam around in front of the swordfish, its motion seeming to communicate something to it. The swordfish seemed to understand what it was trying to get at, for after a few moments the smaller fish swam back towards the barrel, the bigger one following. Then it too noticed the hole.

If the billfish could grin evilly, it would have done so at this moment. Lining up its spear-like snout, it paused for one brief moment, preparing to put its incredible speed to use…

I’m safe. I’m safe in here. Nothing can get me. For now, I think I’m safe, the boy thought to himself, hoping to calm himself down.

And then, with a thrust of its powerful tail, the swordfish launched itself forth at 50 miles an hour. Within less than a second, its razor-sharp snout had closed the distance, and with an awful SHUCKKK, it forced its way directly into his anus, stretching it out and sending the point of its bill deep into his rectum!

A mere instant later, the top half of the barrel burst open.

“YYYIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUWWWWCCCHHH!!!”

Screaming in absolute agony, the boy cradled his freshly impaled backside, the sheer force of the impact having propelled him through the fragile rotten wood of the barrel, thus saving him from grisly death by impalement.

“AAAAOOOOOWWWW! EEEOOOWWCH! OW OW OWWW! MY AAAASSSSSS!!! YEEOOOOOWWW! OOOUUUCCHH!! AAAAAAARRRRGH!! OOOUUUUGGGHHH!!”

Glancing back, he shrieked in terror once more. The swordfish was forcing its way through the now shattered barrel, for even after the worst pain imaginable it was still not done with him!

“NO! NO MORE, PLEEEEASE!” The boy turned to make his escape, swimming as fast as he could, all thoughts of that pesky bluefish forgotten. “MY ASS CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE!! STAY AWAAAAAAAAY!!!”

This did not deter the swordfish in the slightest as it managed to work its way free of the barrel. It took aim and then accelerated, swimming fast enough to catch up to the poor boy, its bill still thirsting for his rump.

SHIKKK!

“YYYYYEEEEOOOOUUUUUUCCCHHHHH!!!” The boy was actually propelled forth by the force of the impact, clutching his injured buttocks while the swordfish prepared to ram him yet a third time.

With a panicked cry, he banked sideways and sped off, hoping that it couldn’t make tight turns. But in his haste to escape what was behind him, he failed to account for a different threat just ahead until it was too late.

A massive shoal of sea nettles was drifting idly through the water near the shipwreck, each and every one of them loaded with thousands of stinging tentacles. They were beautiful from a distance, but now the boy was heading straight towards them, too fast to stop himself in time.

The boy tried his best to steer away from the venomous jellies, but sadly, he still ended up hurtling towards them, bottom-first this time. The result pretty much spoke for itself.

ZAP!

“AAAAAAAOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCHHHHH!”

ZAP!!

“YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!”

ZAP! ZAP!!

“AAAAAAAYYYYIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP!!!

“EEEEYYYYYIIIIIIIIEEEOOOOOWWW!! OUCH OUCH OUCH OOOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHH!!!”

After several excruciating moments, during which his bottom and other bits of exposed skin received dozens of painful stings, the boy was finally able to escape the wrath of the jellies thanks to his convulsions of agony sending him drifting out of their reach. He held his swollen bottom as he made his way up to the surface as best he could, cursing his rotten luck and the fruitlessness of his efforts. That damn fish had ruined everything for him!

If only he’d had the foresight to pack a saute pan… Oh well. For now, all he could do was get himself some TLC for his scorching buttocks and sort out his next plan.

As for that pesky bluefish, it did not, in fact, like the taste of gold and neoprene. It was far away from the wreck, and out in the open sea in fact, when it finally spat out the scrap of wetsuit, along with the doubloon in the attached pocket. With that, both fabric and coin sank into the depths, where they would never be found.

*****

The fish-boy was getting impatient. This was the fourth time that he had been there. His backside was swollen and sore, with more bandages covering it than ever. He glared down at the wreck, his hands gently caressing his wounded bottom and feeling the patch on the seat of his suit.

“Putang ina,” he groaned. “I thought this was going to be easy. It wasn’t supposed to be like this… This has to be the last time. I’m getting that treasure even if it kills me.”

He swam around the ship for a bit before going back to the so-called treasure room.

“If there really is nothing here, then why am I bothering to even come back?” the boy asked himself aloud. “Perhaps this stupid treasure’s just a myth…” Still, he searched the room for any small items that could be hidden away, hoping to find at least one thing worth taking, anything.

After several fruitless minutes of looking around, the boy yelled out in frustration. “Is there seriously nothing here!?” He clutched his temples. “Nothing at all!? Am I just wasting my time!?”

He kicked the already opened chest over — and in so doing revealed another hole. More importantly, the chest was, in fact, acting as a plug for the hole, and its removal resulted in a water current suddenly drawing everything around it towards it. With a cry of surprise, the boy tried to swim out of the way, but this led to him turning his bottom towards the hole and being sucked in, bottom first. He let out a frightened cry and once again tried to fight the current, but it was far too strong, even for a fish hybrid such as himself.

SHOOP!

“NGGGAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

The boy’s already large hips were stuck in the hole. This wouldn’t have been as much of a problem if it weren’t for the fact that his hips were swollen from all of the trauma he had endured. As it was, he cried out for help uselessly, trying to push his way free with his arms and kicking his feet around.

He suddenly felt something caress his buttocks. It sent a shiver up his spine and made him try even harder to free himself.

He wasn’t aware of it, yet, but living under the hole were several enormous lobsters, with powerful claws half as long as his forearm. The lobsters seemed extremely interested in the jiggling buttocks, and already they began to crowd around the intrusion. They were poking and prodding the plump backside with their closed claws and long, thin antennae.

“GYAAAAHHH!! WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT?!?” The boy’s eyes widened in fear as he anticipated the worst.

He squirmed even harder in hopes of freeing himself, though he knew it was most likely a lost cause. The lobsters, surprised by the sudden movements, responded in the only way they knew…

SNAP CRUNCH SNAP CRUNCH!

“EEEYYYEEEOOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!! OW OW OW OOOWWIIIIEEEE!!! AAAAYYYYYEEEIIIIIAAAAAEEEEEEEE!!! OOOOOUUUUUUCCCHHHHH!!!”

Screaming and thrashing about, the boy’s eyes widened, salty brine seeping from them into the surrounding water. The pain of the lobsters sinking their huge claws into his tender backside induced a burst of panic-induced strength, which allowed the bot to free himself from the hole he had been stuck in. He was not free from danger yet, however, as the lobsters were still attached to his pained bottom.

“OOOWWWW!! OUCH!!! YEEOOOWWW!! LET GO!! OW OW OW OUCH!! GET OFF!!!”

The poor, hapless boy swam out of the ship and up to the surface, thrashing around and managing to get several lobsters off with screams of anguish. After several more “OUCH”es, “YEOW”s, and “OWIE”s later, he finally managed to get all of the lobsters off of him. He moaned and bent over, cradling his now bruised bottom, relieved that the worst, or so he thought, was over.

An instant later, he realized that he never should have bent over and showed off such a vulnerable target. To his extreme horror, he could tell know that the swordfish from his last attempt was swimming behind him. He couldn’t see it, but he imagined a glint of mischief in its eyes. Before he could move a muscle, it had darted forward, its spear-like bill aimed right between his widely spread cheeks…

“NNNNNOOOOO!!!”

The ocean surface was rather quiet, the wind stirring up small, gentle waves. Seabirds rode the tradewinds in search of food—

—and scattered in all directions as the water exploded beneath them.

“EEEEYYYYYYIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!”

The fish-boy hurtled out of the water, the tip of the swordfish’s bill sunken into the flesh between his buttocks as it sent him into the sky with the force of the impact. Screaming in agony, he and his piscine pursuer soared in an arc over the waves, before plummeting back into the water with a tremendous splash.

Upon landing back in the sea, the swordfish was dislodged, and the boy moaned in sheer agony as he held his speared bottom. He realized only too late that the fish was still behind him…

The fish-boy gasped and tried to escape from his pointy attacker, but pointed his bottom out again as he tried to gain enough speed. That was all the swordfish needed, and with a flick of its tail it had intercepted him again…

With a WHOOSH, the boy and the fish broke the surface once more.

“EEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

This time, the boy and the fish emerged at a much more shallow angle relative to the water surface. With another great splash, they landed back in the water, and the sheer pain in his buttocks gave him a surge of power that he used to the fullest. Before the swordfish could thrust a second time, he’d swam off like a speedboat across the surface of the sea, leaving a massive bow wave in his wake that churned the sparkling blue water into a frothing white foam.

*****

The poor fish-boy was at his wit’s end with his predicament. Upon approaching the ship yet again, he gritted his pointed teeth, fists clenched, making up his mind to refuse to flee until he had at least something. Then he swam as fast as he could towards the wreck for hopefully the last time.

Choosing the hole he could fit through this time, he managed, somehow, to avoid attracting the attention of that reef shark he’d run into earlier. As he left it behind, he would swear his ass had begun to tingle.

Upon making his way back to the treasure room, he swam up to the chest he hadn’t touched yet, and opened it. Or tried to. “Come on, come on! Gimme the treasure, you piece of pakshet!”

He struggled with the chest’s lid for a few long minutes before it gave way. With a startled yell, he somersaulted in the water a few feet backwards. Upon stopping, he held his head, trying to compose himself, having gotten dizzy from all that spinning. After blinking a few times and shaking his head, the dizziness went away, allowing him to focus on his task once more, namely inspecting the inside of the wooden trunk.

Upon opening the lid again, the boy groaned in dismay. “What in the — No! No! This is all just junk! Shoes!? A pirate’s hat!? What the hell is this!? Tanga ng piraso ng tae!” He cursed in anguish.

Then another glint caught his eye. There was something else in the chest, was that what he thought it was? “Wait. Is that… is that a necklace? Yes! Treasure!” The boy let out a squeal of happiness. “Mine! It’s mine!”

Holding the trinket up a little closer, the boy could almost imagine himself swimming in thousands of doubloons. The necklace had a six-millimeter-thick silver chain with a large silver pendant attached. Within the pendant was a large amethyst stone with rubies, sapphires, and emeralds surrounding it.

Anyone else present could almost see the currency signs in the boy’s eyes as he inspected his prize. But for some reason, he was now feeling compelled to wear the amulet…

“I could keep it for a while… I mean, there’s no harm in wearing it, right? I can sell it anytime I want,” the boy reasoned with himself. With no one else to talk him out of it, he put the necklace on, securing the chain around his neck.

There was silence for a few moments. Then the boy suddenly felt an ice-cold sensation spread throughout his body. He gasped and clutched at his neck, fearing for a moment that the chain was strangling him, but then the chill went away and the ocean around him fell silent.

“What the hell was that!?” The boy shivered a bit. “Oh well… it’s gone now.” He looked at the trunk full of clothing and other useless items, grumbling to himself. But then a thought occurred to him that made him smile just a little.

Hmmm. These things may be old and useless, but perhaps that’s a good thing, he mused. I could sell ‘em to a museum or something, and maybe I could get rich from that alone. Yes! Perfect!

With this, he started to haul the trunk full of clothes and other junk towards the large hole in the side of the ship.

He was almost out of the hole when it all went horribly, horribly wrong.

“GAAAAAH!”

Another current had started up, without any explanation or warning. It started when he felt his body begin to move the chest even though he wasn’t pulling. Then it seemed as though the water itself was starting to drag him out of the hole in the ship, and no matter how hard he kicked his flippers he couldn’t escape its tugging!

The poor, hapless Filipino was dragged along the current with nothing to save him from the torment that was to come. Well, almost nothing. He managed to grab onto the wood at the edge of the hole in the shipwreck, his fingers clenched in a death-grip almost as tight as the pincers of those lobsters that had tormented him earlier.

Even the rushing water all around him wasn’t loud enough to mask his screams of terror. “AAAAHHHHH!! HELP! SOMEONE!! HEEEELP MEEEE!!!”

Naturally, this had absolutely no effect on the water around the poor boy. The current was tugging at him hungrily, even harder now than when he’d gotten pulled into the hole in the ship. It was like he was a flag in a hurricane-force wind, but more than that it didn’t seem natural anymore — more like phantasmic hands grabbing and pulling at him even as he dug his fingernails into the side of the ship as hard as he could. And it was getting stronger and harder to resist by the moment.

“AAARRRGGGHHH!! NO! PLEASE! OCEAN GODS! WHOEVER! PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MEEEEEE!!! I’LL LEAVE THE WRECK AND NEVER RETURN IF YOU PLEASE JUST SAVE MEEEE!!”

Screaming and pleading, the boy still clung to the ship for dear life, but such was the force of the current that his nails were now leaving long scratches in the rotten wood. His fingers were beginning to hurt, and he briefly wondered if he should just let go and accept the inevitable. But even before he could answer that question, one of his hands was tugged free.

“EEEEK!” With a scream of pure fear, he struggled to keep a firm grip with the hand still hanging onto the ship, while trying to find anything to wrap the fingers of his other hand around.

Worse yet, the current began to sweep up some of the sea urchins from the coral spires nearby. With a yelp of fear, the boy closed his eyes as he noticed that the urchins were coming right towards him. He expected them to hit his face, but he was wrong. Next moment, he felt a sharp, burning pain in either of his lower cheeks as two urchins were stuck to his rump.

“YYEEEAAAAAUUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! OOWWW OWOWOWOWOWWWW!!” He yelled in pain as he wiggled his bum in hopes of dislodging the spikey urchins.

The urchins were only lodged deeper in as a lone wooden plank smacked his bottom.

“YYYEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWIIIIIEEEEEE!!!” He screamed in pure agony.

More debris was swept up in the storm, hurtling towards him. The poor young man was then smacked in the face multiple times by kelp and seaweed. “BBLLBLBLL! PTAH!” He gagged and spat out a wad of gooey algae. The rubbery, bitter taste would stick for days.

He had no time to recover as another plank hurtled toward him, smacking him in the face. “UUUUGGHHHH! OUCH!” He shook his head to try and clear out the pain in his nose. He was dazed and dizzy, but he recovered quickly enough to see a rusty metal bucket speeding towards him.

CLONG!

“MMMMBBBMMMPH!” The bucket was now stuck on the boy’s head and he was unable to see where he was going or what was coming next. Struggling and making muffled yelling noises, he fought with the bucket like a madman, pulling and tugging it until it came off. “HNNNNGHH…” He moaned loudly and threw the bucket away from him.

And that was when he realized that he was now careening over the reef with phenomenal speed. Either the impact had caused his fingers to slide off the ship, or in his haste to get the bucket off of him, he had let go of it by mistake.

And why was the purple jewel on his amulet glowing?

“GAAAAHHHHHH!!! NOOOO!! HEEEELP MEEEEEE!!”

Twisting his head around, he realized to his horror that he was heading for a giant clump of sea urchins, bottom first. “AAIIIEEEEEEE!”

His eyes wide with fear, he realized far too late that there wasn’t any chance to avoid all those horrible, venomous spines, some of which were nearly a foot long. At the very last moment he closed his eyes and accepted his fate. It didn’t help. At all.

SHNNKKKK!

“EEEEEYYYYIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCHHHHHH!!!”

His eyes shot open and his hands grabbed his hips. Brine poured from the corners of his eyes as the pain in his bottom was amped up ten fold. He couldn’t scream anymore, and his mouth just stayed open, his lips twitching a little as if he was screaming.

Even as his ass was speared, however, the water seemed to sweep him up and carried him away, several urchins and dozens of spines stuck to his butt. The undertow sent him hurtling over the reef, and to his mounting horror he realized that he was heading straight for a rock spire, hard as granite and studded with some extremely sharp staghorn coral…

“OH GODS NO!! PLEASE NOOOO!!! PLEASE NOOOOOO!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!”

CRUNNNNCCHHHKKKKKKK!

“AAAAAAAOOOOOOWWIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!”

The poor boy screamed so loudly and at such a high pitch that he very nearly went hoarse, the pain beginning to be too much for his poor, tormented buttocks. Not only had the corals speared his rear, with slivers of coral even broken off and lodged in his cheeks, but the urchin spines had been forced even deeper into his flesh, too!

Tumbling through the water, he saw another column covered in razor-sharp barnacles sticking out ahead of him, and whimpered in terror as the current pulled him inexorably towards it… butt-first.

CRASSSSHHHNKKKK!

“EEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!”

The water tugged him away without giving him even a moment’s respite… towards yet a third column, this one lined with stinging fire coral.

“AAAUUUUUGGGGGHHH!!! NO MORE!!! PLEEEEAAAASSSE!!”

WHAMPPPHHH-SHHNNNNNKKKK!

“EEEEEEYYYYYYYIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOWWWWWWCCCCHHHHHH!!!”

His poor, purple-colored ass felt like he had taken a seat in a bucket full of molten lava… and speaking of buckets, in hindsight, he probably should’ve kept the one that had hit him and tried to use it as a shield. It probably wouldn’t have helped, but it could’ve been worth a try.

As though his rump had been caught by a pair of fishing lines, he was once again yanked away by the undertow, and while there were no more spires to slam into now, it was now sending him careening towards the reef itself… with dozens of sharp corals covering every inch of it. Not to mention that there was another school of sea nettles between him and the reef.

“YYYYAAAAAAHHH! EEENNNOOOOUUUUUGH!! PLEASE NO MOOOOORRRRE!! NOOOO MMMMOOOOORRRRRE!!”

ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP! CRASH! POINK! CRUNCH! CRACK! SHNNNK!

“YYYEEEEOOOOUUUUCCHHH! OOOWWWWWIIIIIEEEEE!!! YEEEEOOOOOWWWWW!! OOOOUUUUUCCCHHH!! EEEEEYYYYYOOOOOOWWWWWIIIIEEEEE!!!”

Finally, he came to an abrupt halt. The poor, exhausted fish-boy gasped and breathed heavily, thankful that it was over, or so he thought. His wounded ass was in far too much pain and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to handle his wounds on his own this time around.

Then he realized that he had been shoved into a hole in a tall, flattened rock encrusted with coral and algae. His upper body, lower legs, and feet were sticking out of one end, and his bare-naked ass with his cheeks split wide open was on the other.

He groaned in utter despair. “Please… I’m sorry… I’ve had enough… No more…” he begged towards the ocean. He bemoaned that was that crazy to think it would listen.

And then he felt something brushing against his puckered hole.

“OH GODS NOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!! I’VE BEEN INJURED THERE TOO MANY TIMES!! PLEASE NOOO!!”

Behind him, a three-foot-long moray eel reared back, opening its mouth to reveal two rows of extremely sharp teeth. Then it lunged, its jaws aiming for the tender flesh of his taint…

CHOMP!

“EEEEYYYYYYEEEEOOOOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCHHHH!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!! AAAAUUUURRRGGGHHHH!!!”

The eel continued to embed its fangs into his flesh, and his problems only worsened when two lobsters came in on either side. With a loud SNAP from each, they sank their claws into each tender, purple, pierced and pounded buttock…

“YYYEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWW!! OOOOOOWWWWWIIIIIEEEEEE!!! EEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOWWWWWWCCCHHHH!!!!”

Struggling and squealing, he tried to pull himself free from the hole, but his strength was giving out due to the sheer pain. But then suddenly he felt the eel and the lobsters release him and slip back into the reef…

He sighed in relief. “Is it over…? Am I safe now? Can I get out of here soon?”

And then he felt the ripples of something big some distance away, directly behind him. In that instant, his blood seemed to turn to ice.

Realizing what was about to happen, the fish-boy was totally paralyzed by utter fear. He couldn’t even make a tiny squeak because he was so terrified of what was to come. Saltwater trickled from his eyes and into the water around him, but he couldn’t even squeeze them shut.

Behind him, the swordfish barreled towards his tightly shut anus at an incredible speed. He couldn’t move a muscle even as it shot straight at him, the point of its nose aimed precisely at the exact center of his agonized tuchus. Within less than a second, the swordfish rammed its pointed bill directly through his asshole and into the boy’s most sensitive region with a loud SHUCCKK, the impact actually forcing him out of the hole and into the water on the other side of the rock.

“EEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWCCCCHHHHH!!!!”

Screaming like a schoolgirl on helium, he held his bottom tightly as he sobbed in pain, drifting aimlessly through the water.

“OOOOWWWWWWWCCCCHHHH!! WWWAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!! OOOOWWWWIIIEEE!! OOOUUUUCCCHHHH!! AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!! YEEEEOOOOWWWW!! EEEEEYAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!”

Turning his head around, he could see that the swordfish had wedged its head in the hole in the rock, and was now struggling to slip out of it. But a flash of movement caught his eye a moment later, and with a shriek of terror, he swam for his life.

Not fast enough, though, to escape two reef sharks that had picked the smell of his wounded rump…

CHOMP! CHOMP!

“AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!”

Struggling to stay upright and shake the sharks free, he was only barely aware that the swordfish had freed itself, and was now swimming up and over the rock to take aim at his bare butt yet again. The sharks tugged at his flesh, spreading his cheeks wide even as he screamed and kicked in the water, trying to escape.

“EEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAUUUUURRRGGHHH!!! NO MORE!! I’M SORRY!! I’M SORRY I INTRUDED ON THE WRECK! I WON’T COME BACK! PLEASE STOP! PLEEEEEAAAASE!!”

Not understanding or caring about his words, the swordfish charged, its spear aimed at the exact center of his vulnerable bottom. Even unencumbered he wasn’t fast enough to escape, but with the sharks attached, he didn’t stand a chance.

SHNNKKK!

“EEEEEYYYYYYIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!”

The force of the swordfish’s stabbing impact was enough to send him hurtling forward, the sharks becoming dislodged with a tremendous ripping noise. Screaming and clutching his wounded buttocks, he saw his chance and started swimming as fast as he could… straight into a shoal of bluefish.

SNAP! CRUNCH! SNAP! CRUNCH! SNAP! CRUNCH! SNAP! CRUNCH!

“OOOOW! OOOOUUUUCH! PLEASE STOOOP!! AAARRRRGH!! OOOWWWIIIIEEEE!!! AAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!”

The fish continued biting and tearing at his buttocks, even as he shot towards the surface in a bid to escape. Kicking his legs frantically, he only barely registered the sharks and swordfish following close behind.

His head burst out of the water, and he spun around in a frantic circle trying to get the bluefish off. But then he glimpsed the triangular fins circling around him, and screamed at the top of his lungs. “EEEEEEEEK!”

With a panicked scream, he took off as fast as he could. The sharks chased after him, snapping at his buttocks along with the bluefish, but they got out of the way when the swordfish joined in, speeding towards his ass once again. He howled in agony and shot forth as he felt its nose spearing his backside, but the bluefish and sharks converged on his bottom yet again, slowing him down just long enough for the swordfish to dart at him again and skewer his rump.

And of course, this cycle of nonstop pain had no end whatsoever — that is, unless the poor genetically engineered hybrid of man and barracuda could find it in him to reach the nearest shore… some 100 miles away.

SHNNK! CHOMP! SHIKKK! SNAP! SHUNK! CRUNCH! SHINNNNK! RIP!

“OOOWWWIIIIEEEE!!!  OOOOUUUUCH!!! YYYEEEOOOOWWW!!! AAAAAUUURRGGHH!!! YYEEEOOOOUUUUCCHH!!! OWOWOWOOOWWW!!! AAAAYYYIIIIIIEEEEE!!! NO MOOORRRE!!! PLEASE STOOOPPP!! I SAID I’M SORRYYYYEEEYYYYIIIIAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!! OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH! OOOUUUUCCHHHH!! YYEEEEAAAAIIIIAAAAYYYYIIIEEE!!!…”

THE END